New Cartoon!

Here's all you need to know for now

I've been reacquainting Newgrounds with Geoweasel, uploading all the classic episodes in order every Tuesday and Friday. Just go to geoweasel.newgrounds.com! They could definitely use your help voting on them and sharing with friends who are new to the series! But that's all worth mentioning for now I guess. Other stuff is happening but it's nothing to talk about just yet.

Adventures with clients

I've never done freelance work before, but it's something I've been wanting to venture into. I need some way to earn extra money, but I like the idea of working with other people's ideas instead of my own all the time. So I gave it a shot and while both of my first two clients showed interest at first, both projects just fell flat on their faces.
One was to animate some guy's prank phone calls, but he ended up just kind of saying "Nah, nevermind, not right now. Maybe another time." Hopefully there will be another time with him.
But the other one was going to be a cartoon (or possibly even more than just one) for the Streamy Awards. I just tossed the idea out to them on their Tumblr saying "Hey, I saw you guys had Blah Girls introduce a category last year, would you like another cartoon like that for this year's show?" and I was immediately contacted by a very nice who was pretty enthusiastic and he said it was a good idea and a possibility. So after a few exchanges with him, he was going to put me in contact with two of his fellow producers since they were more suited to the situation and he CC'd our conversation to them. I waited a couple days or so and never heard from either of them and I was worried that maybe I was supposed to be the one to contact them, so I did, and I got an email back from one of the guys saying we should toss around some ideas. So I emailed them back with some brainstorming and waited excitedly. For a week. I didn't want to pester them, but I sent them another email asking if they were still interested. The same guy emailed me back and asked when I would be available to call him, and I immediately answered back. I haven't heard from anyone since. I know the Streamys are looming and they've got a lot more important stuff to do, but obviously the one guy isn't really bothered by the lack of contact and the other never even got in touch with me at all. So I'm going to go out on a limb and say that one's over with since the awards show is in less than a month and I probably wouldn't be able to even finish a cartoon by the time they actually gave me directions.
It didn't even get to the point where the subject of money was brought up in either of these deals. If it had, maybe they would have dropped me sooner and I wouldn't have had to wait around for a few weeks, excited and anxiously waiting for instructions. I didn't work on anything else at all in this time period because I knew if I started something, I would have to go to this and then I wouldn't want to go back to my previous idea. Or maybe I still wouldn't have worked at all these few weeks. But still. If anyone's going to waste my time, it's gonna be me. Don't think I'm soured on trying to find clients for freelance/commission work; I'll still be trying for that. But I just needed to vent.

New Jersey hates cartoons

Earlier this week I spent 5 hours traveling across South Jersey to check out comic shops and found nothing that was even decent. Today I went across the river to Brave New Worlds in Philly and found exactly what I was looking for and more within 30 seconds of being in the store. I’ve been to BNW and made purchases there quite a few times just within the past year (not even a year, really) and the only reason I don’t go that often is because it’s over in Philly. Even though I only live about 15 minutes outside of the city, it’s kind of a hassle going across the bridge, getting through the crowded, narrow city streets and trying to find a good place to park just to go to one comic store, but it’s worth it. So today I got the first volume of Mega Man Megamix finally, and I had a little bit of extra money so I also got one of James Kochalka’s Super F*ckers. There were also a bunch of comic pages and little prints in the lobby by Box Brown, and I found a couple of his comics in their indie/local comics section (another thing that was noticeably absent from all the other stores) which I would have bought if I had enough money. I also asked the guy working there a little about the procedures of selling self-published comics to the store because that is something I would like to do at some point. In fact, I want to have a mini comic done hopefully in time for the MoCCA festival next month, or by the time TCAF rolls around at the latest. But that’s another story.

I'm not...not doing stuff on purpose

Obviously I have nothing to show you guys, but it's not (only) because I've been lazy, slacking, depressed, etc. I have two possible clients that are both...well, not staying in contact consistently, which is weird especially for one of them since they have a deadline and I still have no idea what they want me to do. Unfortunately I can't tell you who either one is, but if they go through, you'll see them, and if they don't, I can tell you then. But for now I'm like in limbo, waiting for instructions. Just so you know. If you care.

The same problems I've been having for years

I think it's time for one of my infamous long, over-thought blog posts. As always, it's mainly just for me to get my thoughts out in some sort of organization so bear with me here.
I guess I overthink everything I do. ...You know what, no, not "guess." "Know" is the appropriate word. If you've been following me for a while you've probably heard me say this multiple times before, but every time I think of an idea for something, I try to hop on it and I get all excited about it, but when the time comes to actually draw or animate the project, whatever it may be, I find that I just cannot bring myself to do it. Suddenly I'm tired of it, unmotivated...I don't know. It's not that I don't enjoy animating. But it's like there's this force where I sit down to work and I literally can't even make my hand pick up the pen. I don't know what it is. Sometimes I wonder to myself when I feel like this, "maybe I don't really want to be a cartoonist at all." That notion is always quickly shot down; I love cartoons, I love drawing, I love animating...I love everything about it, and I don't know where I'd be without it. So if I do indeed love this so much, what is holding me back from doing it? And whenever I don't follow through with something--which is often--I'm always beating myself up over it wondering, "Why didn't I just fucking do it?"
Truth be told, these cartoons...these things that I'm not even obligated to make stress me out so much. I mean, I put that on myself, but this is seriously just about all that I think about, all the time, and I always feel like I'm letting both myself and other people down. Really, I feel like if I were obligated to make cartoons, then I would make them, no question. I don't get it. I have no get-up-and-go. No drive. It's been like that for far too long, for years now, and I think that's what's making me go so nuts. I just want an answer, but there isn't one. It's either you do it or you don't. And I don't.
And I've talked to numerous other people and fellow cartoonists about this. Some suggest to force myself to do it, others suggest try to work on different things. I would love to work on different things. It's not that I'm totally bored of Geoweasel and I don't have any plans of quitting it altogether, but I really want to animate different stuff. But then of course the question is, "Well...why don't you?" There's always one of the following two reasons, if not both: I either feel obligated to finish the current "in progress" episode of Geoweasel, or I have absolutely zero ideas for anything else to animate. I would kill to be like Shmorky or Dan Meth; people who have the drive, the ideas, the talent, and can start making a cartoon from scratch at their whim. Plus I always end up thinking that if I do something that completely stands on its own, either no one will see it or no one would care. And I don't know why I care and don't just...do it. I guess it goes back to obligation again. Like I feel as though people expect me to just do Geoweasel and most people just want me to do that and only that, and I feel like I've made a commitment to...creating a series and I should be tending to it regularly. And even though there's that part of me inside that's screaming at the top of its lungs, "You don't fucking have to!" I still don't do it. What the hell is wrong with me?
At this point I'm even starting to doubt myself on Zane & Flick. And I'll be dead honest with you, I've never had any idea before that's wanted to burst out of me as badly as this one. It's something that I truly think if I don't start telling this story in some shape or form soon, I will seriously go insane. For the time, I've been pretty set on making Zane & Flick a comic series, not animated. (I also feel that it is necessary to point out to those who don't know that Zane & Flick, while it is a series, does have a beginning and end. It's one long story, just told in multiple parts. It's not a series that could just go on indefinitely) But the further I progress in the storyline and the more I figure out who these characters are, I start to think, is this project better suited for animation? Really, it probably is, between the goofy, cartoony designs and the unnatural things that the characters do (particularly Flick), like pulling things out of nowhere, for instance. That is very hard to show in comic form as opposed to animation. But if this is a project that I am to tackle on my own, I do not want to animate it. Why? It's not laziness. It's not that I fear I'll never get it done. I'm afraid of messing it up. If this were to be animated, I would want to have much more experienced people work on it and make it truly amazing. Because that's how this series feels to me. Amazing. And I want it to come out as close to how I imagine it as possible, but I'm just not confident enough in my own skills. I'm going back and forth worrying about stuff like this that shouldn't have even found its way into my head instead of actually working.
And this is why I'm so stressed, anxious, depressed...and the reason I lie awake at night just like Charlie Brown and ask questions into the darkness. Because I'm fucking crazy.

Help Geoweasel win a Streamy Award!

If you guys haven't been doing so already, please please PLEASE go to The Streamy's Public Submissions page and vote for Geoweasel for "best animated web series." And remember, you can do this each day until January 22nd! I don't know how many people have been doing this, but to those I know I am very grateful for their help and support and I hope I can count on you guys too! So get out there and vote like you've never voted before, and spread the word! Thank you all so much!

Also, I managed to never mention anywhere except within my own mind that my goal for this year is to produce at least two cartoons every month this year. And I mean actual episodes. They may be shorter than older episodes (still around 2 or 3 minutes per episode like the few done in 2009), but I'm not going to do a couple 30-second little extras, slap 'em online and go "here's your two cartoons this month, see ya." It's going to be a bit tough at first and I'm really going to have to force myself to just buckle down and work, but hopefully that will help me get back into the right groove. The one that lasted from March to May 2005. My short term goal is to get the now-quite-late Christmas episode done by this Sunday. I have a couple ideas and I may hold off of putting one on the internet and save it for Animation Block Party, which I intend to enter this year. So hopefully my outlook and reality will at least find a happy medium and Geoweasel can really pick up.

I have awesome friends

Seriously, a major thanks to everyone who's been helping me get settled with my new Mac! You guys already saved me $70 at least on buying a new tablet and have helped me with little things here and there that I'm not yet familiar with.
The only main things at this point are getting back Flash and Photoshop. Or even just Flash, that's the most important thing. Unfortunately I thought I would be able to just re-download the Mac version of the Flash 8 trial and input the serial number that I have, but the only Flash available anymore is CS4, which some have said good about and others not so much. I currently have a trial of that on here, but if someone could maybe hook me up with Flash 8 (or CS3 since I've heard it's similar) or a serial for CS4, or any version of Photoshop, I will be eternally grateful. Seriously. Unfortunately, I can't even afford to upgrade what I already have, much less actually re-purchase the actual program.
But again, thank you guys so much for your help so far! I'm very excited about all this and you've already helped relieve a great deal of stress!

Starting the new year off right

Well, today I got my first Mac. I'm still getting used to it of course and it'll take a bit to figure out what I'm doing and whether or not I'm doing it right, but I'm confident that this will be better for me to create with, and will probably give me more incentive to work as well. Plus you won't have to hear me complain anymore about crippling viruses, random crashes for weeks at a time, and losing information. I'll still be using my Windows for a few days until I finish up my current cartoon (and a song, because I'm not sure PXtone works on a Mac) and transfer my information to this. May a new era begin!

Merry Snow

As vague as that is, it's not even something that applies to everyone. Not everyone lives in a place where it snows during their holiday of choice. But that's as close to generalizing everything into one phrase as I'm gonna go. And I'm just gonna say it anyway:

Merry Christmas Everyone!

The Geoweasel Pilot, five years later

At this time exactly five years ago, my family was getting everything ready for our two-day drive down to Florida the next day to visit family for Christmas. Meanwhile, I was in the basement with Flash 5 (which was an early Christmas present) on a Windows ME and nothing but a mouse to draw with, frantically finishing up the Geoweasel pilot episode. I had started it earlier in the month and began slacking off, but I didn't realize until there were only two days left to do so that I had to wrap this thing up. It seemed like hard work at the time, for several reasons. For one, it was only my third animation ever. Also, the sucker ended up being ten minutes long (which I didn't realize until I had completed it), which is still the longest cartoon I've made to date.
I was proud of the work I was doing and confident in myself. I kept thinking that this was going to be a great way to start the series and show people what I could do and that a lot of people would want to see more. All the while, I was just slapping symbols around the canvas and doing some horrible version of the "squash & stretch" method to some bad voice acting and terrible timing.
I published the finished cartoon later in the day and submitted it to the only place I knew of: Newgrounds. And I sat there, literally a nervous wreck, while uploading both parts. Soon, the views, ratings and comments started coming in and I had broken into a cold sweat, as if this was an actual pilot I was pitching to a network. But I got thrown off at first; many of the early comments and ratings were positive and those who commented said it was hilarious. So I calmed down and thought, I guess this is going to be good. I checked on it a couple more times and went to bed.
The next morning, I woke up really early (which I had to anyway since we were going to get on the road by six), turned on my computer and tried to check on the comments and everything quickly before my parents freaked out and said "What the heck are you doing on the computer!? Get ready!" I went to my submission and what I saw was completely different from the night before. There were a few people who left some constructive criticism and were nice enough to say to keep going at it, but aside from that, just about every comment was very hateful, whether they were saying it was a ripoff or it was just downright terrible. The rating ended up being in Newgrounds' mediocre range, somewhere between 3 and 3.5. And I had a whole day ahead of me sitting in the back seat of a car to think about that while I just stared out the window and listened to the 4-ish CDs I owned. I was already planning the next episode, Nar Vs. The Janitizer, and what I was going to do different about it and how I was going to try and improve my skills (or lack thereof). Actually, that was the only thing on my mind for that entire vacation. I couldn't wait to get back home and start the next cartoon. Because even though it was bad, I was determined to get better and create a series that people would enjoy. And now, here I am, still playing around with the same characters.

You can watch the pilot with some editing on the site or on Youtube in really low quality, or if you want to see the episode in its original form, check out part 1 and part 2 on Newgrounds.

Let's try it one more time, but with feeling

I've been fucking around with my laptop, and when I finally got it to stay on long enough, I reset everything again. So I went through the process of uninstalling the many unnecessary programs and bullcrap that comes standard with my computer and then reinstalling all my programs as needed. And since every virus program I've used in the past has proved to be a dud and I don't actually know any sensible people who've ever used them, so I asked quickly on Twitter and Facebook (and even my brother) for suggestions and the general consensus was MalwareBytes. So hopefully that program will keep me afloat for a little while, because I do not, by any means, considered this piece of junk to be "fixed." I'm still going to send it in to HP, which is really the only option I have, but for now, let's just say all systems are temporarily online.
And now that my time to make a Christmas cartoon has essentially expired, I'm going to have to make something minor, if anything at all. I've got four days. The countdown begins.

Remember how I said my laptop was working?

Apparently completely starting over with my laptop was not enough to save it. Out of nowhere a couple days ago, it just turned off on me. I tried to turn it back on and it would stay on for a few seconds starting up and then reset. That could go on forever, but I kept trying to start in safe mode or last known good settings and the same thing happened. So I guess we're sending it to HP...headquarters or something to fix the motherboard? I don't know, I'm really not as good at computers as everyone thinks I am, especially with hardware. But either way, my brother's is broken too (physical damage though, the hinges between the keyboard and screen are literally falling off), so we thought we'd just give in and send them on a journey across the world to get fixed. But then, a tad too late, we thought to call the local computer...fixing...place that we usually go to and ask his opinion and he said fixing the motherboard would not be worth it; it'd be better to buy a new computer. Well, neither option is exactly great financially, but getting a whole new computer, while I would love to switch over to a Macbook with the Adobe Suite and just have everything in one and finally stop stressing, it's just too much money in these times. We're not even really having a Christmas this year.
I don't know. I wish I could just make cartoons and not have to worry about anything. So much of my stress is caused from worrying about whether or not my computer is going to eat everything I ever made or any works in progress. Not to mention, for the first time I remembered to do something for Animation Block Party in advance. I've never submitted to an animation festival, either because I have nothing good or I find out too late, and I was determined to at least send something in, whether it got accepted or not. But I can't do that now. I mean, submissions open the 17th, but I don't know how long of a window I have to submit something. Will I have a computer where I'm able to animate within that time period? Will I even have time to do it? I'm not keen on anything I already have made. I've thought about enhancing the animation and some other things with An Apple A Day, but the script is still kind of dumb. I don't know, I just can't stop worrying and wonder what is so wrong about me wanting to make cartoons?

formspring.me

Hey you! Ask me something! http://formspring.me/niko

What if Weas was voiced by Brian Doyle Murray?

I decided to find out. Not to mention a good little exercise to do now that my laptop is working again.

My laptop works again. We can rebuild him.

I was digging through a lot of stuff the other day, looking for my Flash 5 disc because I was about ready to install it on the family computer and just use that on and off, and I found a little package of stuff that came with my laptop, still unwrapped. I opened it up and right in the front was "Instructions for disc-less system recovery." Apparently, the only thing standing between me and having access to my own computer was...F11. Sure enough, I started it up, held in the key, and it started re-setting itself up. At a cost, of course. I lost pretty much everything I ever had, except for two things: all my fonts were still installed, and by some miracle of the gods, Flash remained intact in its entirety, while every other program had to be reinstalled. It boggles my mind, but hey, I'm not gonna question it. The only major things I have yet to reinstall are Goldwave for recording and the like, and FL Studio and PXTone for making music. Oh, and an antivirus software. For some reason, even though I get it free with Comcast, McAfee won't install correctly for me. Not that it was helping much beforehand, but at least it'd be something until we bought something better.
As for all my animations though, long before this I had backed up all the FLAs (editable files) across two thumb drives. One had all the ones from my Windows ME (which was everything through An Apple A Day), and the other had the ones from my laptop (except for the most recent three, unfortunately). When I plugged in the first thumb drive, the zip file of FLAs was there, I copied it to my laptop and extracted everything, but for some reason, all that was there were about 15 random episodes (not even in any order or anything). I plug in the second drive, and there was no zip on there for the FlAs at all. So I no longer have access to more than half of my work now. Aside from the fact that I would just like to have them for backup or records or whatever, the main problem is without the FLAs, I can't change what needs to be changed within the cartoon to make it DVD compatible. I can't just download all the SWFs of the episodes off my site and convert them because syncing methods for web viewing aren't the same as when I convert them to video for Youtube or DVD. Not that there was really a sure fire thing about the DVDs, but I had finally figured out the right method for converting the cartoons and--before all this happened--was hoping to have a volume 1 out for the holidays. But it seems like now there wouldn't be able to be regular volumes, with all the episodes in their original order. They'd just be random selections of episodes and stuff.
Whatever though. There's nothing I can do about it, so there's no use doing anything now except to continue looking forward.

What a surprise, my computer's dead

Well, just a heads up, my laptop has completely died. It's not a virus thing where I have to wait a few days for it to be fixed, have them reinstall everything and then find out what I'm missing. It's completely dead, and it actually happened not long after my last post here. So the Thanksgiving cartoon I talked about earlier is definitely a no (not that it had much chance of being done anyway), and even if I had gotten ready to do commissions, I wouldn't be able to do them now. I don't know what I'm going to lose as a result of this. Possibly everything except for all the Geoweasel FLA files I have backed up across two thumb drives. I don't know when I'll get it fixed; it may take a while because money is very tight. And to the one person out there who always says "Just get a Mac," I would love to. Really I would. But that is just completely out of reach at this point. So I'm not going to be on a lot since I'm using another computer. I check Tumblr, Facebook, and Twiitter maybe once or twice a day, but that'll be it for a while.

I need motivation. And cash.

Hey guys. I wasn't really able to draw very well for the past week or two because of a medicine I was on. My arms, legs and neck were all shaky and weak. Just a few days ago, they took me off the medicine and I'm already feeling better in that respect. It was really weird and kind of upsetting not being able to draw right; it felt like I wasn't even holding the pen when I tried and everything was just messy. But that's getting better now thankfully.
So I want to get a cartoon done. I have an entire Thanksgiving storyboard I wrote last year, and I have like...a week to do it, but I'm not really sure if I like it. That's how I'm feeling about all my Geoweasel ideas lately. They're just things I don't think people will like or I don't like myself. And it's weird because some people say to go ahead and just make stuff without thinking and others tell me if you don't really feel good about an idea, don't do it. So I dunno. I really want to do some more casual stuff with Geoweasel, like...less scripted or something, but that's hard to do since I'm the only one doing the voices. You can't improvise with yourself. I also want to do a remake of The Dark Storm since that was the first Geoweasel episode and it'll be five years since I made it this December. Not really so much of a remake though. The same general idea is there, but it's not at all the same script. It's just if I had done that plot today, how it would play out. But I'm not really sure if I want to jump on that either. I need something that I can just get into.
Oh! Also, I've been thinking about offering commissions lately. Not that I think many people would buy any from me, but I'm seriously completely broke. I would definitely do drawing commissions, but animations, I'm not so sure. I would offer animation to people who are looking for like a music video, a commercial, or a film they've written that they want animated or something. I have no idea how to put myself out there for that though. And for regular commissions, I have to figure out Paypal and stuff too, I've never done anything like that.
I still want to put DVDs together too, but there a few things wrong with that idea. The major thing is I'm missing a lot of the original files that I used to upload to Youtube since the last time my computer crashed. Some I still have the SWF and/or FLA for that I can still convert it, but not all of them. I wouldn't be able to put together a DVD that has episodes in order for like a collection or something. I could download the MP4 versions from Youtube, but those are not good quality for DVD. It's very cheap. Plus, I don't know if it's something people honestly would buy, or if it would just be one of those things where everyone tells me "I'd buy that if I had the money." Like the shirts and stuff I made. I don't feel like wasting my time making something no one gives a damn about.

New ideas

Hey guys. Obviously I never did the Halloween thing. And oddly, like...as soon as November started, I began thinking less and less about Geoweasel. Probably because I officially started Zane & Flick on the first (just rough planning so far though), but I also have an overabundance of new ideas, which is awesome! Some are for animated series I could do, some are for certain types of cartoons, and some other one-off animations for film festivals and the like. I may try pitching the ideas of the series to online networks, because I don't want to go through any of them alone.
I haven't really jumped on any of these yet though. I still want to do some Geoweasel cartoons before the end of the year. Who knows what I'll do cartoon-wise before then? I can't really do anything now because my hands have been really shaky and weak lately and one day I went to draw and it just...didn't work. Something didn't feel right and the drawings came out very sloppy. It was like I couldn't feel my hand and it was just flopping around. I'm really upset over that; hopefully it gets back to normal soon. Plus, New Super Mario Bros. Wii comes out this Sunday, and I don't think I've ever been so excited for a game release. I'm really having trouble with my patience with this, haha. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up on Sunday. But yeah, between my hand and the fact that I will be playing Mario nonstop, you might not see a whole lot of drawings or anything from me for a good while. But I'll try.

Happy Halloween!