I've been fucking around with my laptop, and when I finally got it to stay on long enough, I reset everything again. So I went through the process of uninstalling the many unnecessary programs and bullcrap that comes standard with my computer and then reinstalling all my programs as needed. And since every virus program I've used in the past has proved to be a dud and I don't actually know any sensible people who've ever used them, so I asked quickly on Twitter and Facebook (and even my brother) for suggestions and the general consensus was MalwareBytes. So hopefully that program will keep me afloat for a little while, because I do not, by any means, considered this piece of junk to be "fixed." I'm still going to send it in to HP, which is really the only option I have, but for now, let's just say all systems are temporarily online.
And now that my time to make a Christmas cartoon has essentially expired, I'm going to have to make something minor, if anything at all. I've got four days. The countdown begins.