Sunday, August 17, 2008

I'll never make it in New York

And I'll never even make it to California! Erm...well, lemme explain. I'm back from vacation, and don't get me wrong, I had a great time overall, as evidenced in photos I uploaded on Myspace and Facebook, but I gotta say, a lot of my vacation consisted of me having anxiety attacks, and even a couple full-blown panic attacks. Actually, the day we left, I started having a panic attack before we even made it out of New Jersey! It delayed us a bit, as I didn't really gain composure until we got to the Maryland House...rest stop...place. When we stopped in South Carolina for a couple of days, I was okay, but there were a couple days in Florida that were just totally shot for me because I was perpetually anxious, feeling nauseous, woozy...that kind of stuff. And on the way home, I did have a sudden panic attack again, although a bit shorter and much later on.
But I dunno...it makes me think. How the hell am I going to hold myself up if I want to go to and stay in New York to do animation when I can't even do it now? Yeah, sure, I take medicines to help this, but they do exactly that: help it. That's only part of the job. The other part is me getting myself through it. And while there are some times when I can, most of the time I can't. It's been more than two years now since this became really severe, and even though it's not as crippling as it was in the very beginning, it's still keeping me from a lot of things.
I don't know, I just had to kinda get that off my mind, I guess. I would post some Geoweasel-related comments, but I'm wiped out still, and not really in the mood. And to be honest, there's nothing important going on that I haven't mentioned before. I just have a big list of stuff to do alongside making the actual episodes.
Catch you guys later.

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