Saturday, August 23, 2008

Throwing in the towel?

It might just be me, or it might be because of the way my mind works, but have you ever thought really hard about what you generally say your dreams are compared to what they really are? I've been in that position for about a week--maybe longer--now. When I was in Florida I started thinking about how I haven't made a cartoon in over a year and a half. And then I think more and more about the subject till I get to thoughts like "do I even really want to be an animator?" and then "do I want to do anything with cartoons at all?" I don't know. Maybe it's a motivational problem? I mean, I think about my cartoons all the time. I think about different plots, character interactions, and how cool it would be to see my stuff come to life or appear in stores...stuff like that. Just thoughts. It's like, I want to make cartoons, but no matter how hard I try, I get stopped. I get to a certain point and then just hit a wall, I guess. So then I think about making comic books instead, but as soon as I think of that, my mind goes, "That would be a good thing to have alongside the animated cartoons." So I must still want to do them. I just don't know what's stopping me. And in a way, I feel kind of pathetic. I don't have a job, I don't go anywhere, I don't have the same interests as anyone around me, plans for college are changing, so cartoons are the only thing I really have going for myself and I'm not even doing that.
All in all, no, I have no plans of quitting animation. Or comics, or cartoons, or anything of the sort. But it's undeniable that I'm in some kind of funk, and have been for quite some time now. It's frustrating. I need to get my head back in the game. It's been long enough. But I don't know what to do.
Sorry, I just kinda had to get all that out.

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